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The central bank also cutits forecast for economic growth. Julius could still see his long. Dutch face and gold—rimmed spectacles so clearly.
Denboer beneath the soil now. Schur promised Freud to help him die when the time came, and. Over twenty years of no tobacco, and also no eggs or cheese or animal fats.
Healthy and happily abstinent. Until that God—dammed physical exam. What difference did anything make? And sooner or later, in another few million years, the.
Feeling the curtain of despair descending, Julius quickly distracted himself by. He remembered Philip as cold, uncaring, oblivious of others, and, judging.
Julius drew on his pipe and shook his. Huge hunk of life spent. Lives with his dog in a small flat. Never had a long—term relationship with a woman—consciously.
Keeps a record of partners, a score sheet, and in past twelve months has had sex. Tells all this with flat affect—no shame, no boasting.
Usually sex acts like Valium. Once he has sex, he. Out early, picks up woman in bar, gets laid preferably. Important to have as much evening.
No TV, no movies, no social life, no. Only recreation is reading and classical music. Voracious reader of classics,. Wanted to talk about Zeno and.
Grew up in Connecticut, only child, upper middle class. A loner in school, fanatically immersed in studies, never had close. Successful chemist—develops new hormonal—based pesticides for DuPont.
Strictly an eight—to—five job, no passion about field, recently growing bored with his work. Keeps current with the research in field but never during his off hours.
Schizoid, sexually compulsive—very distant—refused to look at me—not. He seemed edgy, and I felt uncomfortable with him.
Highly intelligent, articulate but stingy with words—makes me work hard. Seemed unhappy about my starting a couple minutes late and did not. Questioned me twice about precisely how much advance notice he needed to give to.
Closing the chart, Julius thought: Now, twenty—five years later, Philip is a therapist. Could there be a more unsuitable person in the world for that job?
He seems very much. A therapist without a sense of humor? Union Street was sunny and festive. The clatter of silverware and the buzz of animated.
Aqua—marine and magenta balloons tethered to parking meters. First there was the riddle of memory and why. Hard to get his mind around the fact that.
He found it chilling to think of harboring a microscopic robotic projectionist in. But even more intriguing was the riddle of why he chose to revisit Philip.
Surely there was more to it than. After all, there were many other patients he had not helped. But most of the faces.
Maybe it was because most of his. God, how he continued! For three frustrating years he never a missed. Never late, not one minute—too cheap to waste any paid time.
And then one day,. Even when Philip terminated, Julius had still regarded him as treatable; but then,. Why did he fail? Philip was serious about working on his problems; he was challenging, smart, with.
Julius rarely accepted a patient he. Though the therapy may not have been useful for. The thought flashed though his mind that. Perhaps now, with his heightened sense of connectivity,.
Four—thirty—one Union was a modest stucco two—story corner building. What the hell is that? A buzz sounded as the door lock clicked open, and Julius entered a tiny bare—walled waiting room furnished only with an uninviting black vinyl loveseat.
His light brown hair still combed straight back, those. Julius recalled how rarely their gaze had met in all. Philip reminded him of one of those supremely self—sufficient kids in.
But he thought better of it, sat in the chair Philip. So, next step is to move to purpose and goals. Gets us right down to business.
As I told you on the. The reason for your wish. My clients pay me a fee, and, in return, I give them my. When we part, they feel they got good value, I feel I.
Julius characteristically held little back in interviews. That was one of his. But today he forced himself to. Julius said about his state of mind, the better.
If Philip knew about his despair, his search. If surprised by this request, Philip gave no sign but sat silently for a few moments,. In a carefully measured pace, he.
A time—consuming and expensive failure. I think I did my job as a. As far as I can recall, I was fully cooperative, worked hard, came regularly, paid.
Looking again at the ceiling, Philip nodded and continued: And much of that time we met twice a week.
Julius almost leaped in. Whenever a patient made a statement like that, his reflex. He often added a personal note—that his first course of.
But Philip was not his patient now, and he was not. He was there to listen. He bit his lips in silence. Working as a chemist and developing new ways to kill.
But the reason I came to. All I wanted was sex. I was obsessed with it. I shudder to think of the way I was, the life I led. I attempted to seduce as many women.
After coitus I had a brief respite from the compulsion, but in a short while my. I was able to live fully, harmoniously—that was when I could connect with the great.
Now I dwell in a higher realm all the time. It became another compulsion, but. Figuring it out—we always tried to. Yet every solution seemed suspect to me.
No hypothesis was well—argued or. And I knew that I had to stop cold turkey. I recall that you spent inordinate amounts of time exploring. That never made sense to me.
As time went by, it became painful to meet with you, painful. Now, the rest of your story. Philip placed his palms together, rested his chin on his fingertips, stared up at the.
But I grew profoundly bored with. It was a gift of freedom. I had enough to live on for several years, and I canceled. I tried other therapists, but.
One therapist, who had studied with Jung,. He said that for an addict like me. His suggestion led me to religious. All other religious systems failed to explore the fundamental.
I even put in a few weeks at meditation retreats. That was not without interest. As before, I had. Sometimes two a day,.
Never exciting after that; you. I remember you once. Julius, now in no mood for levity, forced his lips into a grin even though he.
Gazing at the ceiling, Philip continued. Since no therapist had helped in any way—and, sorry to say, Dr. To continue, since therapy had not been the.
So I began systematically reading the entire. Popper, Rawls, and Quine. After a year of study my compulsion was no better, but I. This was a major step—I remember how much you and I had.
So I entered the Ph. I did well, wrote a competent dissertation, and five. I embarked on a teaching career and then, just a. How was he able to help?
Hertzfeld, but I have a client coming and I still refuse to. Please give me your card. He was the therapist meant for me. Stormy Beginning—The genius was only four inches long when the storms began.
September of his enveloping amniotic sea roiled, tossed him to and fro, and. The sea waters reeked of anger and. The sour chemicals of nostalgia and despair enveloped him.
With nowhere to turn and no hope of comfort, his tiny neural. What is young—learned is best—learned. Arthur Schopenhauer never forgot his early.
Heinrich Florio Schopenhauer scratched each syllable with his. Arthur—a good name, an excellent name for the future head of the great.
Heinrich Schopenhauer made a decision: These were perilous times, but Heinrich was confident that. It was a name spelled the same in all major European.
Russia and, to ensure her comfort, ordered brandy to be poured over the floors of the. The Schopenhauer mercantile house, dealing in the trade of grains, timber, and.
But bad times had come for the grand free. With Prussia menacing in the west and Russia in the east, and with a weakened.
All of Europe was awash in political and financial turmoil—save. England was the rock. England was the future.
The Schopenhauer firm and. No, more than safe haven, it would prosper if. Schopenhauer, no—Mister Arthurrr Schopenhauer—an English subject heading the firm:.
So, paying no heed to the protests of his teenaged pregnant wife, who pleaded to be. The young Johanna was aghast but had to submit to the.
She wrote in her travel. Too much attention and too much love for the dour Heinrich, apparently, whose. Unable to catch his breath and feeling as.
The man dragged me, in order to cope with his anxiety,. He gripped the banister and unsteadily. The freedom of an unscheduled afternoon.
Julius had always been focused. When he was not. But today nothing seemed important. Today he saw through the ruse of a.
Today there was nothing important to do, and he ambled aimlessly down Union. Toward the end of the business section just past Fillmore Street, an old woman.
God, what a sight! Her clothes—several layers of. But worst of all was. As she came closer, he heard her mumbling: Julius froze for a moment.
He looked about him to make certain that no one had. Good thing I have no patients this afternoon. No doubt about it: Turning toward the intoxicating aroma emanating from Starbucks, Julius decided.
He settled into a. No gray heads to be seen, inside or outside. At sixty—five he was the oldest person around, the oldest of the old, and rapidly growing.
Two pert counter clerks flirted with some of the male customers. Time to realize that his time would never come, that those nubile,. He knew what to say to whiners: Yes, that was the way—find the route to turn this.
Why not write about it? Perhaps as a personal journal or blog. He could do it. Something likeAutobiography of a Demise.
Sometimes when you find a. Julius ordered an espresso, took out his pen and. As he began to scribble, his lips curled into a. A bad idea to think I could.
A bad idea to meet with him. Unbelievable—a therapist sans empathy, sensitivity, caring. He heard me say on the. Yet not one personal question about how I was doing.
Kept ten feet away from me. I worked like hell for that guy. Gave him my best stuff. Oh yes, I know what he would say.
I can hear that disembodied precise voice of. I gave you money and you provided your. I paid promptly for every hour of your consultation.
Hertzfeld, you had the best of our bargain. You received your full fee, whereas I received nothing of value in return. He owes me nothing. I crow about psychotherapy.
I have no lien on him. And, anyway, whatever it is I crave, he does not have it to give. Shall I write an ode about the obligation patients owe in later.
And why does it matter so much? And why, of all my patients, choose to contact. I found a clue in my case notes—the feeling that I was talking to a.
Why he got more attention and energy from me than most of my. Julius returned home that evening to a cold dark house.
His son, Larry, had spent. Julius was almost relieved that Larry had. He started to phone Marty, one of his.
At the end of our discussion today you asked about Schopenhauer and how I was. You also indicated that you might want to learn more about.
It occurs to me that you might be interested in my lecture at Coastal College. Toyon Hall, Fulton St.
I am teaching a survey. Schopenhauer I must cover two thousand years in twelve weeks. Without hesitation Julius e—mailed Philip: On Mondays Julius led a therapy group from four—thirty till six.
Earlier in the day he had. Though he had decided to. But his concerns were unfounded. The members had readily accepted his excuse of.
Stuart, a short, pudgy pediatrician who. This was a most unusual. During the past week his wife had. Julius loved this group. Often the courage of the members took his breath away as.
Everyone supported Stuart for his willingness to show his vulnerability, and the time. By the end of the meeting Julius felt much better.
So caught up was he by. All group therapists know about the wonderfully healing qualities inherent. Time and again Julius had entered a meeting.
He had barely time for a quick dinner at We Be Sushi a short distance from his. He was a regular there and was greeted loudly by Mark, the sushi chef, as he took.
When alone, he always preferred sitting at the counter—like all of his patients,. Julius ordered his usual: California rolls, broiled eel, and a variety of vegetarian.
He loved sushi but carefully avoided raw fish because of his fear of parasites. How ironic that, in. To hell with it; Julius threw caution to the wind and.
He ate with great relish before rushing. What kind of a man was Heinrich Schopenhauer? Tough, dour, repressed, unyielding,.
Though all of Danzig in considered the union of Heinrich and Johanna a. Hence, when Heinrich, at the age of thirty—eight, came to court the seventeen—year—old.
Did Johanna regard her marriage as a mistake? Read her words written years later. In her journals she confided that before Heinrich courted her she had had a young.
Did she have a choice? There was no question of love between. Heinrich and Johanna Schopenhauer. Love between parents begets love for the children.
Occasionally, one hears tales of. But this zero—sum economic model of love. The opposite seems true: At five minutes to seven Julius knocked out the ashes from his meerschaum pipe and.
He took a seat in the fourth row on the side aisle. Twenty rows rose sharply from the entry level where. Most of the two hundred seats were vacant; roughly thirty were.
Two homeless men and their collections. Approximately thirty seats were. Just like a therapy group, Julius thought, no one wants to sit near to the leader.
Even in his group meeting earlier that day the seats on either side of him had been left. Julius thought of the group therapy folklore about seating; that the.
The shabbiness and dilapidation of Toyon Hall was typical of the entire campus of. California Coastal College, which had begun life as an evening business school, then.
On his walk to the lecture through the unsavory tenderloin, Julius had. What teacher could avoid demoralization in this setting? He checked his watch.
Extracting his lecture notes from a. This is the survey of Western philosophy—lecture eighteen—Arthur Schopenhauer.
Tonight I shall proceed differently and stalk my prey more indirectly. Let us begin by turning our attention to the great debuts in history.
Philip scanned his audience for some nod of comprehension and, failing to find it,. He then spelled out and defined three words,d—e—s—u—l—t—o—r—y, f—o—r—e—b—e—a—r—a-.
Now for great debuts; trust me—my purpose for beginning in such a fashion will, in. Imagine Mozart stunning the Viennese royal court as he.
Or, if Mozart does not. Other amazing debuts include the extraordinary debut of Johann Fichte. Does any one of you remember.
Hegel, Schelling, and Fichte? Well, one Sunday a wealthy aristocrat arrived at the village too late to hear the.
As he stood, obviously disappointed, outside the church, an elderly villager. The villager fetched Johann, who, indeed, repeated.
Johann excelled in school and later at the university, but when his patron died,. Johann had no means of support and took a tutoring job in a private home in Germany.
Philip suddenly looked up from his notes to survey his audience. Seeing no glint of. Kant, Immanuel Kant, Kant, Kant, remember? We spent two hours on him last week?
I give you my. Kant will be on the final. I see stirrings of life,. So where was I? Fichte was next tendered a position.
Kant was a creature of habit and not inclined to. Last week I described to you the regularity of his. In an extraordinary burst of creative energy he wrote his first manuscript, the.
Kant was so impressed with the work that he not only. Because of some curious mishap, probably a marketing ploy of the publisher,.
The work was so brilliant that critics and the. And now consider something closer to your hearts—athletic debuts. Or the teenaged chess prodigies.
Bobby Fischer or Paul Morphy? Finally, I want to turn to a literary debut—the most brilliant literary debut of all.
Here, Philip stopped in order to build the suspense and looked up, his countenance. He felt assured of what he was doing—that was apparent.
What was Philip expecting to find? The students on the edge of their. Julius, in his fifth—row seat, swiveled his head to survey the auditorium: To the left, a student stretched out asleep over two chairs.
In the row directly in. Despite his curiosity, Julius did not turn to follow their gaze—probably they were. And who was the prodigy? His name was Thomas Mann.
Mann, as I hope and pray you know, went on to become a towering figure in the. Buddenbrooks, published in , traced the life. As I promised, I have strayed a bit but only in the service of.
Julius heard rustling in the auditorium and the sound of footsteps. The embracing students at the end of the row had departed, and even the student.
To me, the most remarkable passages inBuddenbrooks come late in the novel as the. A faint smile played on his lips as Philip held.
I recommend these pages to anyone intending to die. Julius heard the strike of matches as two students lit cigarettes while exiting the.
None of his belief systems offered him comfort—neither his. Here, Philip looked up. In the midst of his desperation Thomas Buddenbrooks chanced to draw from his.
He began to read and was immediately soothed. The extraordinary clarity of vision in the volume of philosophy enthralled the.
Now listen well, Julius Hertzfeld, because this may be. Shocked at being directly addressed in a public lecture, Julius bolted upright in his.
He glanced nervously about him and saw, to his astonishment, that the auditorium. He opened a tattered paperback copy of the. Have I hoped to live on in my son?
In a personality yet more feeble, flickering, and. What can my son do for me? Ah, it is so brilliantly clear. I shall be in all those who.
Have I ever hated life—pure, strong, relentless. I have but hated myself because I could not bear it. Mann does not reveal his name in the novel, but forty years later he.
Mann then proceeds to describe how, at the age of twenty—three, he first. He was not only entranced by the. Philip pulled out a pocketwatch, studied it for a moment, and then, with great.
Here concludes my introduction to Schopenhauer. His philosophy has such breadth. Hence I have chosen to pique your curiosity in. But, as you wish, Julius it is.
My answer is that I am merely responding to your. Think about it, Julius, you came to see me with a request for an. Let me expand upon this matter.
First, there was a tone of urgency in your. It was particularly important to you that I meet with you. No, you wanted something. You mentioned that your health was imperiled, and, in a sixty—five—year—old man,.
Hence, I could only assume that you. My lecture today is my. You made a request for help, and I responded. And I offered that to you only as an appetizer, a sampler of what is to.
There is a great deal that I, as your guide to Schopenhauer, can offer you, and I. I can continue practicing as a clinical philosopher—. Unlike Schopenhauer, I have neither an independent source of.
The lecture is over. Though they were closer, four rows of seats still. So I was startled by the remarkable coincidence of your.
As for mechanics, I suggest meeting weekly and splitting our hour: Philip waited two or three minutes and then: I need more time to think it through.
I take off Wednesday afternoons. Shall we meet in my office? How quickly one moves back into the familiar force field of another person!
Only a little time in his presence and—presto—my. How arrogant, how disdainful he is. How uncaring about others. And yet there is.
And if that excerpt he read about. The idea of rejoining the universal oneness without any persistence of me. And what draws Philip to me?
That crack the other day. Make him a legitimate, kosher therapist? I want to sponsor him? Something new was emerging in Johanna—some vague sense that motherhood.
Her summers at the. Schopenhauer country estate were particularly difficult. Arthur and her servants. Because of his fierce jealousy, Heinrich forbade his wife to.
Danzig, and, shortly before the advancing Prussian troops arrived under the command of. There, in a strange city, Johanna gave birth to her second child, Adele, and.
Heinrich, Johanna, Arthur, Adele—Father, mother, son, daughter—the four bound. To Heinrich, Arthur was a chrysalis destined to emerge as the future head of the.
Heinrich was the traditional Schopenhauer father; he. She was the Schopenhauer family. Dangerously vital, she had to be contained, protected, and restrained.
What did she feel? Her husband and provider, Heinrich,. Was he not part of the trap, the seal to her coffin? A talented woman, Johanna. And her young daughter?
Little noticed by Heinrich, Adele was assigned a minor. Father Schopenhauer, heavy with anxiety and despair, lumbered to his death,.
Schopenhauer warehouse and leaping into the frigid waters of the Hamburg canal. There she became the dear. Arthur Schopenhauer was to grow up into one of the wisest.
And one of the most despairing and life—hating of men, a man who. Could we foresee it, there are times when children might seem like innocent prisoners.
Nevertheless every man desires to reach old age Four steps led from the street to a landing with a blue—tiled fountain. On the left, a.
Julius greeted him at the door, escorted him into the office, and. In exceedingly clear language you claimed that our therapy was a. Research shows that therapy, in any hands, is unsuccessful for about a third of patients.
Your only error was to choose the wrong type of therapy for me and then persist. But still, to ask for supervision from a. It is not entirely accurate to say I got.
You did make two statements that stuck with me and may have played. For a moment Julius fumed about having to ask for details.
Did Philip think he. Could he be that much of a space cadet? Finally, he gave in and. I remember asking your opinion of my evening and.
It jolted me to. Always meant to do a study of that. But for our purposes today tell me,. And to permit me. Here it is straight: The good therapist wants to alleviate suffering, wants to help people grow.
Therapists need to relate to their patients, whereas you care little about how others feel. Take the two of us. You tell me that, on the basis of my phone call to you, you made the.
Yet never did you utter a word of consolation or. I constructed and delivered an entire lecture for you. But it was all so oblique, Philip.
It made me feel like I was. Better for me, much better, if you had been direct, if you. Nothing monumental, maybe just some.
I would have wanted the tools, the ideas,. An open—ended comment is by far the best choice. In our therapy I remember you once said.
My point still stands: If you debrief patients at the end of therapy about the process, what do. They rarely remember an. Why did you remember me so well and value what happened between us so much.
I believe you might have some deep affection for me, and because. First, I want to caution you against the error of. You crave and value relationships, and you.
The truth is—you and I are fundamentally different. Why not remain with the great world spirits? My educational expenses have. I need to see only a few clients a week to meet my.
I live frugally, I wish to acquire nothing except the freedom to pursue what is. But since it seems important to. Schopenhauer himself said that bipeds—his.
He cautioned, however, about. He liked porcupines—they huddled for warmth but. He treasured his separateness and depended. And how can you not agree.
Your point of view leaves no room for friendships. I have not had a. You may remember I was a solitary.
With your contempt and lack of. Julius rose, shaking his head. He poured a cup of coffee for himself and paced back. You sure as hell are.
Nor, incidentally, are you making your friend and therapist,. You seem very strongly focused,. Philip, so I will be merciful and cut to the chase.
Philip, who had been averting his gaze throughout this discussion, looked directly. You know a great deal. Your interpersonal skills, sensitivity, and awareness need work—a lot of.
But I want to be helpful to you. All right, here it is. For once, Philip was startled. I tell you that I want to earn a living as a therapist and that to do so I.
Those are my conditions. Seventy dollars for a ninety—minute session. What have we been talking about? My question was imprecise.
How will it profit me. The very idea of such a chorus. I make a point of. So let me give you my spiel. First, my approach is rigorously.
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